Grappling with Conflict

No greater love than the love that Christ gave us at the cross that He gave His self for us. That's a wonderful reminder. One of my favorite stories that preacher Jimmy used to tell, he used to tell a lot of them as you remember, some of you will. But one of my favorites, one of the ones he used to tell quite often, was a man and a woman who had just gotten married, this was back in the 1800s, and they're riding home in their horse and buggy from the wedding ceremony to the little home that he had prepared for his bride. And all of a sudden the horse just stopped right in the middle of the road. So the man got out, walked around, no emotion, he's got out, walked around, looked the horse in the eye, said, that's one. Got back up in the horse and buggy, and they took off again. Little ways down the road, the horse just stopped again. And so the man got out of the buggy, walked around, no emotion, just looked the horse in the eye, said, that's two. Got back in the buggy and off they took again. And sure enough, little ways down the road, the horse stopped right in the middle of the road, a third time. So the man got out of the buggy, still no emotion, walked around, looked the horse in the eye, said, that's three, pulled out his revolver and shot the horse right in the head. And the horse just crumpled in a heap on the ground. As he's getting back in the buggy, his wife is just stunned and she lit into him. How are we going to get home? We need that. We got to work. How are we going to do it? And she just kept going. He just let her go for about five minutes. No emotion, never said a word. She let out all of her steam. She turned, looked her in the eye, said, that's one. Well we would rather not have to deal with conflict, it's something that we would rather not have to deal with at all. And usually the solution is not quite so simple as in that story. But conflict is a reality in a simple world. We face conflict, all of us do. In one way or another, it may be at work, it may be in our homes, it may be in our personal relationships, it may be with neighbors, it might even be in the church. But all of us, somewhere along the line, face conflict with someone else. Abraham in Genesis chapter 13 faced conflict with a family member with a lot. And in this story, as Abraham is now back in Canaan and conflict arises in his life, as he deals with that conflict, we can find some principles that we can learn from about how to manage, how to handle conflict, coping with conflict. So let's talk about it this evening. If you have your place there in Genesis chapter 13, we're going to look at the whole chapter tonight, all 18 verses and we're going to see that there are some wonderful principles about grappling with conflict. How to deal with this difficult issue. Verse 7 verses deal with the presence of conflict. And there are two principles that we find about the presence of conflict. The first is this, conflict often follows prosperity, it really does, often follows prosperity versus one through five. So Abraham went up from Egypt to the Negev with his wife and everything he had and a lot went with him. Abraham had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. From the Negev, he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and I where his tent had been earlier and where he had first built an altar. Their Abram called on the name of the Lord. Now a lot who was moving about with Abram also had flocks and herds and tents. Conflict often follows prosperity. It's clear in the Bible here that Abram was prospering materially versus one and two, especially verse two, tells us that he had become very wealthy in livestock, silver and gold. Lot was also prospering. Verse 5 tells us that Lot had also flocks and herds and tents. So both of them had prospered, possibly as a result of their trip to Egypt. We know that Abram was given a lot by Pharaoh before Pharaoh discovered his deception in regard to the lie regarding Sarah. So they came back to the land and they have a lot of material prosperity. Isn't it interesting that material prosperity does not solve problems? Most people think it will. Most people think that if you have more, if you have plenty to live on, then you will not have any problems. That is simply not true. I mean the Bible makes it clear that problems do not vanish. In some cases problems increase because of wealth or material possessions. The book of Proverbs and the book of Ecclesiastes both talk about if you are blessed with a lot of material prosperity. It brings some unwanted friends. It brings people who will try to be your friend for what they can get out of you. It brings a lot of people asking you for things and to do things and just a lot of headache and trouble. So sometimes prosperity brings its own set of problems and the same is true with conflict. Prosperity often is a prelude to conflict. But Abram was not only prospering materially, physically. He was also prospering spiritually. We saw this last week in verses 3 and 4. When he had come back from Egypt, he went directly to the place where he built his first altar in the land of Canaan and called on the name of the Lord. We saw that that was probably a time of reconnecting with God, renewing fellowship with God, really dealing with issues in his life, getting back in fellowship with God. So Abram was prospering spiritually where he had kind of in a sense gotten away from the Lord and certainly had sinned against God and against his wife in Egypt. Now he was back in fellowship with God. You would think that when you get back in fellowship with God things would go smoothly. There would be no problems. That would solve your problems. I think you have probably found this out. I certainly have that we can expect in times of spiritual blessing for trouble to come. You see Satan doesn't like it when God's people are being blessed by the Lord. When they're in fellowship with God, Satan will use anything to try to disrupt that harmony and peace and fellowship with God and to cause us to think that it's not a good thing that it just brings trouble. Trouble does not come because of fellowship with God or spiritual prosperity but it sure may come in times of spiritual prosperity. So Abram was prospering and even though he was prospering there was conflict. So conflict often follows prosperity but the second lesson we learn here about the presence of conflict is that conflict usually involves valid reasons. You'll look at verses 6 and 7 you'll see that there were good reasons for this conflict. Verse 6, but the land could not support them while they stayed together for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together and quarreling arose between Abram's herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. And there's this extra note, the Canaanites and Parasites were also living in the land at that time. So here you have a situation where both Abram and Lot have lots of flocks, sheep, cattle, other animals, no doubt, and their large flocks put a heavy strain on the available pasture and storage. And so there was some conflict. Strife began to erupt between Abram's herdsmen who were responsible for managing his flocks and Lot's herdsmen who were responsible for managing his. There was conflict between the two. You can just imagine shepherds and herdsmen trying to parcel out land, trying to decide who has priority on certain grazing areas and this cost conflict. And then added to that was the fact that the Canaanites and Parasites also inhabited that same land. That's why it's mentioned here. So Abram and Lot had to find unoccupied territory. So quite simply, there's just not enough land to go around. There are good reasons for this conflict. There are tensions because of the abundance of flocks and not enough land to graze them in Canaan. You know, there are usually valid reasons for conflict that arise, usually on both sides. One of the things I have learned in dealing with couples and with families and just with folks who have difficulty with one another through the years is seldom does trouble start because somebody just enjoys being a troublemaker. Not occasionally, that happens. You know, there are some people, nobody here tonight, but people that you know, that sometimes just enjoy stirring up trouble. They have the spiritual gift of being troublemaker. There are just some folks like that, but that's really kind of rare. Actually, in conflict, there are good reasons on both sides, at least in people's minds. I have reason for what I have done and the other person is saying, I have good reason for what I have done, too. And I found that one of the best ways to counsel folks in those kinds of situations is to become a negotiator. Both of them have a reason for their complaint. Find out what it is. Try to help the other person to see what the other person is thinking. Put yourself in their shoes for a while. Listen to them. Try to understand why they are feeling the way they're feeling. Now, let's turn the tables and do it the other way around. You try to listen to the person. Find out why they're feeling the way they're feeling. And usually, when people can see, oh, I see why you're saying that. I see why you did that. You can begin to find some resolution. Usually, in most conflict, there is good reason on both sides for the way people are thinking or feeling over what they've done. And I would suggest, if you find yourself in conflict with someone, maybe at home, or on the job, or wherever it may be, I would suggest that you desperately seek to see what is valid in the argument of the other. Find even if it's just one grain of truth or one thing that you can understand or agree with on their side of things, what happens is we tend to become defensive. We tend to press our case with the other person without listening to them. There was good reason for this conflict. And we'll see that Abraham recognizes that in just a moment. In our conflict, there's good reason. Good reason for why people feel the way they do. And we need to listen so that we can understand, so that we can really begin to address the issues properly. The big question then is, once we do that, once we understand the presence of conflict, that it usually does involve valid reasons, the real question is, then what do we do now? What do we do now? How do we deal with this conflict? And the way Abraham deals with it is really a model in conflict resolution. Let's talk about the resolution of this conflict in verses 8 through 11. Abraham does four things. And really, again, this is a model for conflict resolution. If I were teaching a seminar on resolving conflict, I'd probably just take this passage in these next few verses, this is how to do it. Abraham masterfully shows us a great pattern here. The first thing he does is to deal with it. It's that simple, verse 8. So Abraham said to a lot, let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Let's just deal with it. The first step to resolving conflict is to deal with it. Don't let it simmer. Abraham takes the initiative. He recognizes there's a conflict, so he takes the initiative. Okay, we're going to deal with this. Now, anytime that there is conflict, and we do not deal with it, whether it's at work or at home or with a neighbor or whatever it may be, you know what happens, don't you? Two things happen if you do not deal with conflict. Number one, if you let it simmer, the rift just gets deeper. The problem just gets worse. It rarely ever gets better on its own. I mean, if there is a serious conflict, it rarely ever gets better on its own. The rift will usually deepen. That's true in a marriage. That's true in parent child relationships. That's true in friendships. If there is a problem between two people, a conflict that has arisen, if you decide, I'm not speaking to that person, and the other person decides, I'm not speaking to my friend either. If that's the way both of you decide to deal with that thing, the situation probably will just get worse. It's not going to get better. The rift will grow deeper. Because then, you know what happens. You begin reading things into everything that person does and says. So you begin to build a case that gets higher and higher, bigger and bigger against them. And a lot of stuff that never had the meaning at all that you attributed to it begins to become a part of your case. Because you've not gotten things out in the open and dealt with them. Second thing that always happens when conflict is undelt with is our testimony, it gets hurt. And inevitably, somewhere along the line, someone else is going to see an unresolved conflict and our testimony is going to be hurt if we don't deal with it. What do you think the parasites in the Canaanites would think about two men who both claim to know and worship the true and living God not being able to get along with each other? What do you think Canaanites are going to think of that? What do you think the parasites are going to think of that? I think Abraham knew that. I think Abraham realized, hey, we've got a testimony of the true God to uphold in this society who will listen to us talk about the true God if we can't get along with each other. And that's why conflict in the church hurts so bad. Because an unsafe world looks at that and says, I can do better than that. Those people can't even get along with each other. So when churches fight and split and argue with each other and all of that, an unsafe world just nods its head and says, yeah, look at those Christians. Just what I thought. There's nothing real over there. Hurts our testimony. So the first thing to do about conflict is deal with it. Take some initiative. If you know that there is a problem, you are responsible to take initiative. I've said this many times, usually in teaching about marriage. It's true in any kind of conflict. If you are responsible, if you know there's a problem, you're responsible to take the initiative to deal with it. Jesus said two things in the gospels, Matthew 5 and Matthew 18. He said, if you're at the altar and you realize your brother has something against you, in other words, you've done something wrong, then you leave and go make it right with your brother. Matthew 18, he says, if your brother sins against you, then you go and make it right with your brother. Doesn't matter who's at fault. Whoever recognizes that there is a conflict, there is a problem. Whether you are the guilty one or the innocent one, if you recognize there's a conflict, you're responsible. And ideally, you meet halfway. That's what happens. But regardless, you are responsible to deal with it. Take responsibility. Take the initiative. Resolution of conflict, second principle in resolving conflict is this. Be courteous in your approach. Be courteous in your approach. Look again at verse 8. Notice how Abram speaks to Lot. He says, let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine. Let's not have any quarreling. King James says, I pray thee. The new American standard says, please, let's not quarrel. The idea of the text is Abram is very courteous in his approach to Lot. He doesn't go calling names. Lot, you dirty rotten scoundrel, you I heard what your herdsmen said. No, he doesn't do that. No name calling here. No shaking the fist. No pointing the finger, no accusing, no insinuations. He's very courteous. I can just see them sitting down over the dinner table. Lot. Understand our herdsmen are having some trouble. Let's not have any trouble between us, please. You know, a soft answer, courtesy will soften issues. It will lower the intensity level. It will disarm the other person. God says a lot about that. Proverbs chapter 15, verse 1 says, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 25, and verse 15, through patience a ruler can be persuaded and a gentle tongue can break a bone. What I found in my own life is at the end of the day, I look back to regret times when I spoke sharply. When I dealt with an issue of conflict or personal disagreement in a way that was sharp, I always, always regret those times. I have never regretted dealing with a conflict in a courteous manner. Not always done it that way, but I've never regretted it when I've done it that way. Whether it was personal conflict, family conflict, whatever it was, be courteous in your approach. The third thing that Abram did that is a model for us, again, in verse 8, is appeal to the right motives. Appeal to the right motives. You see what he said to a lot. He said, let's not have any quarreling between you and me or between your herdsmen or mine. For we are brothers. There's the reason why we shouldn't have any conflict. He's appealing to the highest of motives. It is not right for us to fight each other. We're brothers. Not right for us to fight each other. We're not enemies. We're brothers. Appealing to the highest of motives. I once read about a Wyoming rancher who had noticed how wild horses would respond to attacks by wild wolves. When horses were attacked by wolves, they would circle. When they would circle with their heads toward each other, they couldn't see the wolves. But they would circle with their heads toward each other so that they could kick away from each other and end up driving off the wolves. He had also noticed how wild donkeys responded to attacks by wild wolves. Donkeys in their eagerness to see the wolves would circle with their heads toward the wolves and when they kicked, they'd end up kicking each other. Now I would suggest that a lot of times we act more like donkeys than we do horses with no good sense because we kick each other. Abram is saying, you know, there shouldn't be conflict among us. We're brothers. So he appeals to the highest of motives, to proper motives. Let's deal with this. Let's put it behind us because we shouldn't be fighting each other. You know, that's why there ought to be unity in a church, unity between churches that believe the Bible, rather than name calling and accusing and downing one another. Why should we kick one another? If we're all in the family of God, if we believe the Bible, certainly there are occasions where when people depart from truth, we must call them on that. The Bible does talk about a certain degree of separation from those who depart from the faith. But sometimes in fundamentalist circles we have gotten so separatists that we separate from everybody who disagrees on any issue at all, from good brothers in Christ. We need to recognize that when we are brothers and we're on the same team and we're winning people to Christ, we believe in Jesus as the only way of salvation. We believe in His Word, the basic truths of Scripture. We ought to stand together, not fight each other, appeal to proper motives in a conflict. You know, I've seen so many families through the years torn apart by conflict. And if people would just go to one another and say, we're brothers and sisters, we're parents and children, we are of the same blood, we shouldn't be fighting, we shouldn't love each other. If they would just appeal to the right motives, a lot of conflict could be undone. But then a fourth thing that Abram does in modeling how to solve conflict is this, have a servant spirit. This is 9 through 11. Have a servant spirit. Notice how Abram deals with this. He says to a lot, verse 9, is not the whole land before you, let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right. If you go to the right, I'll go to the left. Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt, towards Zor. This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east, the two men parted company. Isn't it interesting? Abram offers Lot the choice. Now Abram could have insisted on his rights. After all, he is the elder of the two. And they lived in a society that put a lot of value on respecting the elders among you. Abram is the elder of the two. He could have insisted on choosing whatever land he felt was best for his flocks first. And after all, wasn't God's command to go to this land to Abram and wasn't the promise of the land to his descendants? Not Lot's. I mean, Abram had every right to say, okay, here's the way we're going to do this. This is the land I'm choosing. You can take whatever you want beyond that. But he didn't. He gave Lot first choice. I believe that he is displaying the same selflessness and servant spirit that the Lord Jesus did when he came to this earth. Mark chapter 10 verse 45 says it this way, for even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. The King of glory comes. Doesn't he have a right to have people serve him? Of course he does. But he didn't do that. He served other people. Philippians chapter 2, Paul says it this way, your attitude speaking to the Philippians and to us, your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. What attitude is that? Here it is. Who being in very nature, God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. He was not defensive about it. Didn't feel he needed to hold on to all the trappings of glory. What did he do? But made himself nothing. Taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness. Now what he's talking about there is that when Jesus came to this earth, he was God. And he had left heaven's glory. He could have come to this earth. He could have demanded everybody bow down to him. He could have worn royal robes. He could have displayed his glory from heaven. Everybody would have fallen at his feet and that would have been exactly right and proper. Jesus didn't do that. Jesus made himself nothing. He literally gave up his reputation, chose the lower path, became a servant to other people. Now when you really think through the implications of that, it becomes very life-changing, very challenging to live up to, for that attitude to be in us. Now back to Abram. When Abram takes that road and says, even though I'm the elder, even though the promise was made to me, the land really is mine and my seeds inheritance, even though he would have had every right to take whatever he wanted first, leave lot the rest. When he didn't do that, when he gave a lot first choice, what happened? What happened? Lot took advantage of him. Lot took advantage of him. He was gracious offer and rather than lot, deferring to his elder to Abram, he chose what looked best for his opportunity, for what would serve him best. And we nod our heads and say, that was a foolish move, Abram. You just got taken advantage of. See what happens when you don't look out for yourself. See what happens when you give others first choice. See what happens when you try to serve others. See what happens, Abram? People will walk all over you. They will take advantage of you. I would ask you, withhold your judgment on that issue until we see how this story turns out, because we haven't seen the end of the story yet. Sell them in life. Are we willing to trust God for the end of the story? We think on a human level, we think on a really quite carnal and fleshly level, I've got to look out for myself. Nobody else is going to. Have we forgotten about God looking out for us? But I've got to look out for myself. Nobody's going to take advantage of me. I'm going to get the deal first. I'm not going to serve anybody else. That's often the way we think. Hold on, hold on until we see, as Paul Herby would say, the rest of the story. Let's see how it all turns out. And how does it turn out? Well, let's look at the consequences of decisions made in conflict. We've seen there's one of these two men who makes a decision based on selfish interests, based on what will work best for me. I will not put myself under Abram. I'm going to choose what's best for me. We've seen one person make that kind of selfish decision. We've seen Abram make a very gracious and unselfish offer and decision. What happens to these two men? Well, before we look, I just want to emphasize for a moment the fact that decisions do carry long-term consequences. They really do. Decisions that we make do carry long-term consequences. On the surface, it looks like a lot got the best of this deal. He got the well-watered plane. He got the best of the land to graze, herds, and flocks in. He got the best of this deal. But his decision reveals something about his character that will lead to long-term consequences that will ultimately destroy him. God used this conflict to reveal cracks in his character, to reveal what was really in his heart, and it is our character that will ultimately decide whether we are blessed or cursed. That's what ultimately decides. Not our wit, not our ingenious business decisions. It is our character that decides in God's eyes whether he will bless us or not. We return the fruit of our labor against us. That's exactly what happens to these two men. Look at the consequences of selfish decisions on the part of Lot in verses 12 and 13. Verse 12. Abram lived in the land of Canaan while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents toward Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord. This is the first indication that Lot's life begins to drift toward the city of Sodom. Now as he looked over that plain that was along the Jericho Valley leading to the Dead Sea and around the Dead Sea well-watered plains, best area to graze flocks. It looks like the best deal. I'm going to grab it without any thought of what it will do to his life, what the environment will do to his family. It's just what's best for me materially. The decision is made simply on the basis of self-seeking and self-satisfying. This begins the progressive deterioration of his life and his family. With this ominous note in verse 13 that almost looks like a thunder cloud getting bigger in the distance, the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord. That just sounds ominous, doesn't it? It's kind of like when you look out this time of year and you see on the horizon this very dark cloud that seems to be getting bigger and bigger and bigger and you know something bad is coming. There's a bad storm on the horizon. I mean that's what verse 13 looks like to me. You can see it coming in Lot's life. He doesn't recognize it at this point. He's made a good business decision. He's jumped on an opportunity and he has had no thought at all about the danger spiritually to his family, to his spiritual warfare. He's just out to make a good living. That's all he's concerned about. I would challenge you at this point right now about your decisions in life, especially in the midst of conflict what you decide that looks like will enable you to win the conflict and get the best of the deal. What will happen? If you choose only what is for your immediate gratification, it will explode in your face later on. I can guarantee you. You choose selfishly. You choose that which will only be best for your material pursuits regardless of what it does to you and your spiritual warfare and your family. Not even thinking about that, it will explode in your face later on. We must learn to examine opportunities that are put before us in light of what it will do to us and our family spiritually. You see. These decisions are like going on a credit card splurge. It's fun for a while. Man, you just throw that little piece of plastic down, you get anything you want. This is fun. And then the bills start coming in. That's no fun. It ends up destroying you. If you live that way. And whenever we make decisions based on what's best for me, just like Lot did. The bills will start coming in at some point. And it will destroy us. Consequences of selfish decisions. But I want you to see the consequences of unselfish decisions on the part of Abram. Verse 14, Listen to this. Verse 14, The Lord said to Abram, After Lot had parted from him, Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land you see, I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth. So that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you. You see Abram's decision showed that he was walking by faith. He will take the servants position. He will offer Lot whatever he wants to take, knowing that in the culture Lot should defer to him. And if Lot had deferred to him, Abram would be free to take whatever he wanted and justice would have been served. But Lot took advantage of him. But you see Abram did what he did out of faith, knowing he would win either way in God's eyes because God had already promised him all this land. And so he's just trusting God. I'm going to be gracious and kind and be a servant to my nephew. I know God will take care of me. He's already made me promises that assure that he will take care of me. I'm willing to trust that he is not able to fail his promises. So Abram is acting in faith. Regardless of what Lot chooses, God's already made me promises. He'll take care of me. I can trust him to do that. And so he gives Lot the choice. I think God was pleased with that. I think God smiled on Abram when he saw his faith and his servant spirit and his unselfish decision. I think God was pleased with that. And so God says, now's time to reaffirm my promise to Abram. Abram, come here. I've got something to talk to you about. I just saw what you did. I saw your spirit. I saw your heart, Abram. I just want to remind you Abram. Come up here. Look around. Look north. Now look south. Look east. Look west. Everything you see, I'm giving to you and to your descendants. I've already promised you that. I want to reaffirm that to you right now, Abram. And Abram, roam around through the land and enjoy it. Whatever you see, roam around through the land, enjoy it. It's yours. It's yours. And so Abram did. Verse 18, Abram moved his tents and went to live near the great trees of memory at Hebron, where he built an altar to the Lord. I want you to see this map, because Abram kind of moves around. If you can see this, we've started with Abram in Ur and into Iran. Then he came down to Shackam, was the first place he lived in the land. Then he went to Bethel, where he built an altar to the Lord. And you remember he went south for a while, the Negev, then to Egypt. When he came back from Egypt, the Bible says in this chapter, he went back to Bethel, back to the altar he had built. And now from Bethel, what does he do? He begins to move around to some other places. And this little inset here from Bethel, he goes down to Mamry, Hebron. This is a place that is still honored today as the home of Abram. He built an altar there, the Bible says there in verse 18. He built another altar there. He made it another worship center where he would commune with God, connect with God. Even today there is a building there where Abram and Sarah, Isaac and Jacob, others are buried. This became a very special place to them. But Abram does what God says. He begins to move around in the land, from place to place, kind of scouting out. After all, God is given to him. You know, we really can trust God to take care of us. I don't know if we really believe that or not, but we really can. We really can. I don't know if I believe it like I should. When I read stories like this, I realize that if we guard our character against selfishness and do all we can to avoid conflict, God will take care of us. It's one of those divine paradoxes that is described for us in Jesus' words in Mark chapter 8 and verse 35, for whoever wants to save his life will lose it. Whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. Now when he says whoever wants to save his life, he's not talking about the natural instinct for self-protection. We all have that. That's a naturally what he's talking about is whoever schemes and works his way through life to his best advantage, to get him the best deal, to make sure I get what I want to get, regardless of what it costs anybody else, or regardless of what it costs me and my family spiritually, I'm going to save my life. I'm going to take care of myself. First, when you live that way, you will lose your life. Just like a lot did. You will lose everything that's important to you. Oh, you may gain great material wealth, but you will lose everything that's important to you. And when you're willing to subjugate your interests and your desires and your plans to the will of God for him, and when he talks about losing his life for me and the gospel, he's not just talking about going into the ministry. He's talking about for the sake of spreading the gospel around the world and being a faithful committed, fired up Christian for the Lord and serving him. If you subjugate your own life to God's purposes, then you will be blessed by God. That's exactly what Abraham finds here. Lot chooses for himself. He will eventually lose everything. Abraham chooses unselfishly as a servant. God gives him everything. Interesting how that works in life, isn't it? It's one of those divine paradoxes that doesn't seem right, doesn't seem like it would work. Humanly speaking, nobody would agree with that or see that, but that's the way God works. That's the way God works. Aaron Burr is one of the most interesting figures in American history. His father, also Aaron Burr, was the second president of Princeton University. You know who his grandfather was? Aaron Burr's grandfather was Jonathan Edwards. Probably the greatest preacher this country has ever seen. I'm one of the most brilliant minds this country has ever seen. Aaron Burr had good training spiritually. He had an unsurpassed academic record. He had a great personality. I mean, it just seemed like in his young life the sky was the limit. And sure enough, in the Revolutionary War, he distinguished himself so significantly that he was very early on given a place on General Washington's staff. But character weakness was began to surface, which would ultimately bring his downfall. Aaron Burr proved he could not handle conflict. When someone disagreed with him, when someone did not like his idea, he simply couldn't handle it. He couldn't take it. He went off so much so that eventually Washington had to dismiss him from his staff, although he had distinguished himself in the war brilliantly, but he couldn't handle conflict. He continued to rise in the political realm. He ran for the New York State Assembly, was elected. He ran for Attorney General and State of New York, was elected, ran for the Senate, was elected in 1800. He was the Vice President on Thomas Jefferson's ticket. But there was a blunder in the Electoral College that was later fixed, that caused both Aaron Burr and Jefferson to receive the same number of electoral votes. Both of them got 73 electoral votes, and they tied for president, a kind of a quark in the system that was later fixed, so that wouldn't happen again. The decision was thrown into the House where Alexander Hamilton questioned Burr's character and swayed the election to Jefferson. Jefferson was elected, so Burr began to run another arenas, ran for the governor of New York. Hamilton opposed him there, led the opposition against him, and after a heated discussion one evening at a dinner engagement, Aaron Burr challenged Alexander Hamilton to a duel. The most famous duel in American history ended up in Alexander Hamilton being shot to death. Burr went on to serve in a couple of other political offices, but he was never as popular again. And eventually he was an outcast. He moved to the West in that time, Ohio, where he tried to make a name for himself there. It didn't work. He finally had to go to England. He was later accused of treason, and he died in isolation. A man who had so much promise, but could not handle conflict. And it ruined his entire life and career. How are you handling conflict? Don't let Satan use conflict to defeat you, to be your ultimate downfall. So many have so much to promise, and because of that one character flaw, cannot, cannot get over the detriment that brings to them. They end up failing because they can't handle conflict. Abrams shows us how it needs to be done. Let's seek to handle conflict in the way the Bible tells us this man did it. Let's pray together. Father, every one of us in this room, no doubt, has been in issues that created conflict. And probably every one of us in this room has at times handled that poorly. Pray, Father, that you would help us to learn from this example of Abram, how to handle conflict properly. So as we graciously deal with others, as we take the servants position, as we deal courteously, that we will see you defend us, even if we're taking advantage of. Pray that we'd be willing for that to happen so that our character will not be damaged, trusting you to take care of us. God, Lord, I pray especially in our families, in our relationships with each other, that we would handle conflict in a biblical way. We pray in Jesus' name.