When Suffering Pays a Visit

Maybe you've heard a testimony something like this. Come to Jesus and you will find true happiness. Or maybe you've heard someone say, I had many problems in my life before I came to Christ, but when I received Christ, he took them all away. Or maybe you've heard someone say, the Christian life I have found to be one of constant peace and contentment. Now, whether there's a lot of truth to those kinds of testimonies, they may give the impression that the Christian life is free from all problems, that God is kind of like a genie who grants us our every wish. Well, Elijah certainly didn't find life to be that way. As we have begun tracking his ministry and faithfully serving the Lord, since that time we have found that he's become a hunted man, his only water source has dried up, and he's been sent to next get provision from an impoverished widow who only has enough food to feed her and her son for the next day, and then they figure they'll die. But of course, God has miraculously provided for him and all is going well, but then suddenly something happens, which takes both the widow and Elijah completely by surprise. In 1 Kings chapter 17, we find ourselves this morning beginning in verse 17, and it is in verse 17 that we find that taking place which was a complete shock to them. 1 Kings 17, verse 17 says, now it happened after these things that the son of the woman who owned the house became sick, and his sickness was so serious that there was no breath left in him. That is another way of saying, basically he died. So sorrow and suffering visited that little home in Zarafath on that day. There are times when we all suffer. There are times when suffering will pay you a visit. For most of us in this room, maybe all of us, we have experienced suffering in one form or another. If you haven't, I hate to break the news to you, but you will, at some point, get a visit paid to you by suffering. So it's important to understand suffering and to understand how we should respond to suffering, particularly the kind of suffering that we find described in our passage today. So I want us this morning to walk with Elijah. That great beacon in darkness as we have described him. I want us to walk with him as he shines that light brightly in the midst of a home that is going through incredible suffering. What does that look like? How does that apply to us, both when we are the recipients of suffering, when we encounter suffering, and when we encounter others who are suffering? Well, I want us to look first this morning at the nature of suffering. We find in verse 17, as we just read, a description of the kind of suffering that we need to come to grips with as far as why and what it looks like. What is the nature of suffering? Because when we go through suffering, there are often things that we simply can't understand about what's going on. And that's certainly true of the suffering that this widow, Andy Elijah also experienced in this story. The first thing about the nature of suffering, the first thing that we find very difficult to understand is the severity of the suffering. This woman had lost her son in death. I believe that is probably, if not the greatest, one of the greatest of all of life's tragedies to have a child to die. Joe Bailey was the president of David C. Cook, publishing company when he died in 1986. He had served for many years as a pastor as well. He wrote a book entitled The Last Thing We Talk About. I think the book was written back in the 70s. Joe Bailey himself had had three sons to die. One son died at 18 days after surgery. A second son died at five years old from leukemia. And the third son died at 18 years old after a sledding accident complicated by hemophilia. Three sons to die. Can you imagine that? He wrote a book about that experience and he said this, of all deaths that of a child is most unnatural and hardest to bear. In the psychologist Carl Jung's words, it is a period placed before the end of the sentence. Sometimes before the sentence has hardly begun. He goes on to say, we expect the old to die. The separation is always difficult, but at least it comes as no surprise. But the child, the youth, life lies ahead with its beauty, its wonder, its potential death is a cruel thief when it strikes down the young. Now I do not in any way want to be insensitive to those who have had a child to die. But I think you would probably agree with me that that is one of the greatest, one of the most awful kinds of tragedies, maybe the worst kind of grief to experience. And it seems to be complicated with this woman's life because although we don't know for sure whether she had any other relatives, there's no mention of them, it seems as though her whole world was tied up in that boy. Certainly her future was tied to that son. In that day, in that culture, a widow really had no means of support apart from her family. There was no social security, there were no pensions, there was no job market for women in that day, particularly widows. And so they were completely dependent upon either family or the goodness of people who knew her to provide for her in her later years. So the death of her only son would be a tragedy compounded by her life situation, the severity of the trial just is hard to wrap our minds around. It's hard to grasp what she must be thinking and feeling and going through. But there's also the timing of the suffering, not just the severity of the suffering but the timing of the suffering. This kind of pops out of the blue in the midst of great blessing in her life. The prophet has come, God has honored her by allowing her to be the home chosen, to be witness to the life and ministry of a prophet, to give her home as hospitable shelter for a prophet. And God has been providing for her and she has every reason to expect that God's blessing will continue to rest upon her home. So you wonder if she's not thinking, would God miraculously preserve our lives from death through the famine just so that my son would die in another way? It just doesn't seem to fit. The whole timing of it is off. So not only the severity of the suffering but the timing of the suffering is just something hard to wrap our minds around. But thirdly, the object of the suffering is equally hard to comprehend. Think of it, this is a woman who's probably invied by all of her neighbors. God has chosen her to minister to God's prophet, to provide hospitality for him. And probably all of her neighbors thought God has probably put a protective bubble over her home and over her life. And then for this to suddenly happen, you know, I think we're apt to think that there are some people who escape the sufferings of life. Maybe we tend to think that, you know, really godly people don't really suffer, do they? Or maybe really good families that seem to have it all together, they don't go through any suffering, do they? Well, obviously you know the answer to those questions. I think you should. We all experience suffering. Just because we may be walking close to the Lord, our family may be following the Lord. We may be serving the Lord, does not mean we are exempt from suffering. It does not mean that we are not subject to the kinds of tragedies happening in our own homes that this woman experienced. The young man who is now the pastor at Johnston Chapel who succeeded me was with his wife for eight years, missionaries in Papua New Guinea. Then for five years, they had to come home because of the illness of one of their children. For five years, he was our youth pastor and did a phenomenal job at that. He was obviously God's choice to be the next lead pastor there. But while they were in their first term in Papua New Guinea, they actually had come back to the States for their first furlough. And they were visiting with family in the state of Massachusetts and their oldest son, their oldest child, one of only two children at that time, got sick. He was four and a half years old, Tyler got very sick with some kind of virus, but he just kept getting sicker and sicker. And so finally, they took him to one of the greatest children's hospitals in the country in Boston. But he continued to deteriorate and within four days, he was dead. That virus had attacked his heart and little four and a half year old Tyler died in that hospital. It was an absolute shock to everyone in their family, in our church. We just couldn't wrap our minds around why that would happen. How could God allow this to happen to this missionary couple? Well, obviously they struggled greatly with that. Ended up going back to the field, continued to have a faithful ministry there and then as I've described the faithful ministry in our church as well. But there is no one exempt from suffering. There is no one exempt from even the kinds of tragedy that this woman faced. It's hard to wrap our minds around at some time. The severity of the suffering, the timing of the suffering, even the object of the suffering, the one who would suffer. But we must realize we all live in a fallen world. God has not promised to put a bubble around us and shield us from all the effects of the fall. And his curse upon this world, we live in a fallen world and we're going to face suffering sometimes. So given that, understanding that, God really is more concerned about our response to suffering, our reaction to suffering. There are in this story three different reactions to suffering. The first is one that most of us who've been through extreme suffering, like this widow had, understand. Because the first reaction on our part often is the reaction of blame, the reaction of blame. Look at verse 18. She said to Elijah, what have I to do with you, O man of God? Literally the Hebrew could be translated there. What do you have against me? What do you have against me, O man of God? Have you come to me to bring my sin to remembrance and to kill my son? Wow, that's pretty harsh, isn't it? She begins by blaming others. She lashed out at Elijah, basically she's saying, this never would have happened if you hadn't come to my house. Did you bring God's search light on my home to point out something that would make him want to take the life of my son? Are you responsible because you came? Are you responsible for the killing of my son? That's really harsh. In this kind of suffering, deep suffering, hard to understand and wrap our minds around kind of suffering, logic often gives way to despair. She has forgotten that if it were not for Elijah, she and her son both were looking at one final meal and then both would have died. So logic has given away to despair. But we can't be too hard on her. Don't judge her too severely. She's standing there, numb with pain, tears, streaming down her cheeks, holding the limp and lifeless body of her only son. Her world has just come crashing down suddenly and unexpectedly. You know, psychologists tell us that there are several stages of grief and one of those stages after shock and denial is anger. And anger often comes flying out in the form of blaming. Sometimes we blame God. Sometimes we blame others. So let's not judge her too severely. We probably have all been there in those that fog of grief where we are trying to process what's happened to us. It's very easy and natural to look for someone else or something to blame. And so let's not be too hard on her at this point. I have often seen in a situation like this where a child is the one to die, where husbands and wives blame each other and I have seen marriages not survive that tragedy of blaming one another for the death of a child. But that's not the only reaction. It's a very natural reaction, but it's never where we should stop. We should be able by God's grace to move beyond that. The second reaction that we find here is a reaction of gentleness. The reaction of gentleness. Notice how Elijah responds in verse 19. And he said to her, give me your son. So he took him out of her arms and carried him to the upper room where he was staying and laid him on his own bed. It is very instructive to see how Elijah responded and what he said. Elijah did not respond with a rebuke for her blaming. He didn't do that. That would be very easy to do, but he did not do that. He didn't respond by giving her reasons as to why her son died. You know, that's what her question was. Why did this happen? Was it because of you coming here? Well, he didn't give her reasons. He didn't even give her reminders like, well, you do know he's gone to a better place, don't you? Or one that I've often heard when children have died. Well, God may have been keeping them from something in their future that would have been far worse. There may be some truth to those things, but my friend, those are not the things people need to hear when they are in horrible grief. I think what Elijah did is instructive for us. All he did basically was reach out his arms and said, give me your son. In other words, what he's saying was, let me carry this with you. Let me share your grief. Let me walk through this deep dark valley with you. There was another man that wrote a book, a man who had had a son to die who was 25 years old. And he wrote a book about it called Lament for a Son. Nicholas Walter Storff was the man's name. And here's what he said. He said, the heart that speaks is heard more than the words spoken. And if you can't think of anything at all to say, just say, I can't think of anything to say. But I want you to know that we are here with you in your grief. If you think your task as a comforter is to tell me that really all things considered, it's not so bad. You do not sit with me in my grief, but you place yourself off in the distance away from me. Over there, you are of no help to me. What I need to hear from you is that you recognize how painful it is. I need to hear from you that you are with me in my desperation. To comfort me, you have to come close. Come sit beside me on my morning bench. That's exactly what Elijah did. Now, I will hasten to say there is a place for communicating truth, for speaking truth to tragedy. I believe that's part of the role of a pastor in a funeral service is to speak the truth of God to that situation. But in those first agonizing, shocking, angry moments of grief to try to give out quick little spiritual helps that you think will take care of everything is not the way to handle it. I remember the first death I ever encountered as a pastor. I was very young. It was in our first church. I was still in Bible College. And I had been a youth pastor for six months in a church and the pastor left to take another church in Richmond, Virginia. And the deacons had asked me, would you be willing to be considered? I didn't even have to pray about it. Didn't think about it. I said, no. No, I'm too young. I don't have any experience. I can't do that. And they said, well, will you be willing to preach until we find someone? I said, I'll do that. And after about two months, I'd gotten the bug. I was loving preaching. And the Lord was just filling my heart with a desire. And so they came back to me and asked if I would be willing to reconsider, which I kind of said, not in these words, but I said, if you're crazy enough to call me, I might just be crazy enough to say yes. And so I was very young when I started. I was sitting in chapel one day at Piedmont Bible College and I was called out of chapel. And I was given the message that a family in that church, I'd only been there two weeks, a family in that church had a two-year-old baby die of what was called then crib death. We know now it's Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I was shocked. And my first thought was, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I hadn't even had my pastoral theology class yet, which tells you how pastors are supposed to handle all those situations. So I remember going to one of my professors' offices and finding him sitting there in the office. And I said, Mr. Bologna, this is what's happened. What do I do? And what do I say? I'll never forget what he told me. His advice has stuck with me through all of these years. He said, John, they will not remember what you say today, but they will never forget that you were there with them. I have found that to be so true, especially in those first agonizing moments of grief and those first days, being able to have just the right answer to look like the professional clergy. That's not what people need. People need an arm around their shoulder. People need to know that you love them, you care. And you're not here to give spiritual platitudes or Christian clichés, you're here to show love, and you're here to walk with them through their sorrow and their grief and their shock. That's what people need, and that's exactly what Elijah did. Even though she has blamed him and also ends up blaming herself, did you come to point out something wrong that I did? She said, he doesn't correct any of that. He just walks with her through her grief. There is a great lesson there for those of us who encounter people, neighbors, friends, fellow church members, family members who go through times of awful suffering. We need to walk with them first before we even open our mouth. But there's a third reaction to suffering and that reaction is the reaction of prayer. Oh, this is where it needs to get to. At some point, we need to bring our tragedy, our hopelessness, our shock, our loss, our suffering and lay it at the feet of Jesus. Notice Elijah's prayer beginning in verse 20. Then he cried out to the Lord and said, oh, Lord, my God, have you also brought tragedy on the widow with whom I lodge by killing her son? And he stretched himself out on the child three times and cried out to the Lord and said, oh, Lord, my God, I pray let this child soul come back to him. Then the Lord heard the voice of Elijah and the soul of the child came back to him and he revived. Elijah knew that in these moments, after showing his compassion and care and indicating, I want to walk with you, help me. Let me help you carry your burden. He knows the very next thing he needs to do is to go to prayer. I think it's the reason he took the little boy up onto the roof, up to the room where he was staying. Most homes in that day had a flat roof and anybody who was staying with a family would be sheltered in some kind of accommodations on that roof. And so he takes him up to his room. It's probably a place where he's done a lot of praying and he feels very comfortable approaching God in that place. And so he lays the child down. I want you to notice several things about his prayer, which again are very instructive for us. First of all, his prayer was honest. Do you notice how he started? He started by expressing his confusion. I don't understand why, Lord. Do you hear what he said in there in verse 20, oh Lord, my God, have you also brought tragedy on the widow with whom I lodge by killing her son? That's a way of saying, Lord, I don't get this. I don't understand this any more than she does. And so he's honest. Any kind of praying should be honest praying, admitting where we are, not trying to impress God with who we are. You can't do that. God knows your heart. And if you're confused, if you've got questions, he already knows that. So just pour your heart out to God. Be honest with him in your prayers. But it didn't stop there. Not only was this prayer honest, it was fervent. It was fervent. I mean, even his actions were fervent. The fact that he actually picked up a dead body. Remember the Jewish laws in the book of Leviticus? That would render him ceremonially unplean. This is a remarkable exception to what the typical prophet or Jew would do in a situation like this. But he takes that little boy in his arms. And then he takes him up to the room and stretches him out on whatever cot or bed he lied to you would use and stretched himself out on top of the boy three times. I have no clue as to what that was about. We don't know whether the Lord told him to do that. We don't know whether that was just his way of identifying with that little boy as he cried out to God to raise him up. But there is real fervency here. And then twice it is said in these verses that we read that he cried out to the Lord. And both times he said, oh Lord, my God, there's real fervency here in his prayer. When we are praying, especially with things that grip our hearts, our prayers should reflect the fervency of our hearts. And we don't need to be ashamed to cry out to God and let him know the depth of the agony and struggle that we have in our hearts. His prayer was fervent. The third thing about his prayers, it was full of faith. When he asked God in verse 21, I pray, let this child soul come back to him. There's absolutely no precedent for that. There has not been any resurrection yet mentioned in the Bible up to this point. Again, we don't know whether God did that with some other people, but this is the first recorded resurrection of somebody. So Elijah has no precedent to go on. He has no previous experience. Lord, help me like you did Abraham or Moses, or he has no case to go on. This is strictly a bold request of faith. Lord, let this little boy soul come back to him. Wow, what faith? To know, first of all, that God can do it. He has all the power, but to plead with him to do it. Don't be afraid to pray in faith. Sometimes I think we're afraid that, well, I'm not sure it's God's will. That's not our place to determine what God's will is. Certainly we should also, we should always pray in submission to God's will, but we don't know God's will ahead of time. So pray boldly in faith. Ask God for bold things, but always be submissive if that is not his will. Because he knows the end from the beginning, of course. He knows infinitely more than we do, but ask boldly in faith. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think sometimes we're afraid to, oh, we'll be embarrassed if God doesn't give us what he asks because it looks like we didn't have enough faith or we weren't really prayer warriors or whatever. Forget your feelings of pride and being embarrassed. God's God, not you, you're not God. And the sooner people find out I'm not God or you're not God, probably the better. God is God, let him do what his will is, but ask him boldly. And if he says no, then submit willingly to the mighty hand of God, but pray in faith. And then the last thing about his prayer that I would point out is it was a confident prayer. Notice how simple the request was. Just confidently saying, Lord, let this child's soul come back to him. Oh, Lord, my God, this is what I pray. There's no bargaining with God. There's no promising God something. You know, sometimes when we're in desperation, we pray in a bargaining position. You know, God, if you will answer my prayer, then I'll do this for you. You know what that says about us? What it says about us is that we really doubt God and we feel like we have to twist his arm with something that we can promise him. Don't pray that way. We should never pray that way. This was just a simple request, or I'm laying it out here for you. I'm just putting it out here before you. This is my request. Now it's God's to do with that request, whatever He wills. But don't bargain with Him. Don't say, God, if you'll do this for me, I'll do this for you. God is not someone to be bargained with. He's not someone to be talked down to a lower price. Just confidently pray. The response of prayer, and notice the answer to prayer in verse 23, and Elijah took the child and brought him down from the upper room into the house and gave him to his mother, verse 22, of course, I skipped. The Lord heard the voice of Elijah, the soul of the child came back to him, and he revived in verse 23. He takes her to his mother and says, takes the little boy to his mother and says, see your son lives. What an amazing ending. There is no way to explain the incredible joy that must have filled that family. Now at this point, it's very easy for us to think. Yeah, see, they got their happy ever after ending. I didn't get mine. I didn't get any resurrection. My child, my parent, my brother, my sister, my spouse, died, and they are still dead. I didn't get any kind of, I understand that feeling. When we read a story like this, it's easy to say, well, it's a Bible story, things like that happen to the Bible. It don't happen to me. Could I very gently suggest to you the last chapter of your story has not yet been written. The end of your story hasn't come yet. It will be written someday. The book is not closed on your story yet, friend. The book is not closed on your story yet, friend. Heaven is the last chapter to be written about your story and my story. It hasn't been written yet, but we know from God's promises it will be written. And I assure you that in heaven we will all rejoice with ecstatic joy just like that widow must have rejoiced chapter of heartbreaking stories is finally written. What an ending it will be. The reaction to suffering, friend, don't get stuck in blame. Move on from blame to prayer and commit your heart, your life, your family, your suffering, everything you have to the Lord, and come along some other people who you trust will just sit down with you and walk with you, put their arm around you, hold you up in your time of weakness through that grief. The reaction to suffering quickly. We see also here in this story the lessons from suffering. There are two lessons that are given us about suffering here in verse 24. Then the woman said to Elijah, now by this I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is the truth. Two lessons she learned from suffering. First of all, she learned the reality of the Christian life. You see, she knew he was a prophet, but after seeing the way he responded to her grief and what God did in response to his prayer, now she knows. Not only is he a prophet, he truly is a man of God. You know folks, people are watching us, neighbors are watching us, people we work with are watching us, friends are watching us, fellow church members are watching us. And other people need to see the reality of the Christian life, not just that we talk, a big talk, but when tragedy comes, we can't take it. Now given the fact that we will have the normal process of grief, shock and denial and anger and maybe blaming, but what they're looking for is to see if you eventually come to a place of peace where you commit your life and your difficulty to the Lord. When people see that, when they see the kind of response that Elijah had in you, then they recognize, hey, they're not just talking to talk about this Jesus thing, they are living it out. It really makes a difference in their lives. So she saw the reality of the Christian life, she also saw, secondly, the truth of God's word. You see what she said there at the end of the verse? She said, I know that you're a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is the truth. Now let me say something right up front here. God's truth is the truth, whether or not we ever believe it. All right, let's just make sure we understand that. But given that, knowing that God's truth is true regardless of how we respond to it or whether or not we ever believe it, there's a difference between making a mental assertion that we know God's word is true. And finding that it really is true when we experience that what God has promised, he did in our own experience. There is a ton of difference between just mentally affirming the truthfulness of God's word, and we ought to do that. It is true, it is his word, but something much deeper happens in your heart when you experience its truth and you see God at work and you realize these are not just empty cliches. These are not just pious platitudes. The word of God carries punch and power in the reality of my human experience. I have learned that it is true. I have seen what God has done in answer to his promises. That is where we need to come to. One of my favorite contemporary Christian artists is Stephen Curtis Chapman. Stephen Curtis Chapman wrote a song some time ago called The Change. And let me just quote part of that song for you. He says, well, I got myself a t-shirt that says what I believe. I got letters on my bracelet to serve as my ID. I got the necklace and the key chain and almost everything a good Christian needs. I got the little Bible magnets on my refrigerator door and a welcome mat to bless you before you walk across my floor. I got a Jesus bumper sticker, the outline of a fish stuck on my car. And even though this stuff's all well and good, I cannot help but ask myself, what about the change? What about the difference? What about the grace? What about forgiveness? What about a life that's showing I'm undergoing the change? It's one thing my friend to have all the outward symbols that you know Christ and you're walking, you're a fine Christian. It's another thing to live it and to know and to show others that God is really changing your life through his word. Those are the lessons this woman learned through suffering and he lied just response to suffering. Some day suffering will pay you a visit. No doubt for most if not all of us it already has. Many times maybe it will probably pay you another visit at some point. That's a given, that's going to happen. I plead with you, do not be disillusioned by thinking why did this happen to me because I was trying to serve God? Don't be disillusioned by that. Rather do two things. Come alongside people like people in this church that you know love you and will sit down with you on your morning bench and grieve with you and just walk with you through that valley of the shadow of death. Come alongside those kind of people and then learn from them and from God's word to bring your suffering to the Lord and lay it at his feet in prayer, honest prayer, fervent prayer, faith-filled prayer, confident prayer, but lay it before him in prayer. And God will, I promise, he promises his word. God will redeem your suffering for his glory. Let's pray. Father, thank you. For the blessed story of your word, Elijah. Thank you, Father, for how to respond to suffering. I pray that we would learn the lessons the widow learned. We would be able to practice the response that Elijah practiced. I pray especially for those who may be suffering here today that you would wrap your arms around them and the arms of these people around them to carry them through the difficult time until they are able on their own to lay their suffering at your feet. I ask this in Jesus' name, amen.